Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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