I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
