...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
We're too hungover to prance.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Randomize
