carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
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