My sheets look like a crime scene.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
