Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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