We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
