Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize