Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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