I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
i think i have two assholes
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
