dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
