i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
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