I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
