Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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