How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
