they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
