Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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