I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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