My liver just broke up with me...
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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