Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Randomize
