You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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