Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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