we have officially lost it.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
