woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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