i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
