Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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