Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize