why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
