theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize