I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
