Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
