Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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