I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
