I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
