so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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