i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
