Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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