I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
