peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize