on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Randomize
