Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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