This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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