A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
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