playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
