I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize