so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Is this like a preordered booty call?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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