Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize