You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I think i got beer on your cat.
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