all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
