gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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