there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
