Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
