I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
you inspire me to be a worse person
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
