He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
