he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
So much Jack, so little girl.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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