apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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