we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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