Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
im six kinds of drunk right now
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
