just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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